A well-intentioned woman I barely know hinted that she viewed me as neutral on the issues facing our world. This was a fascinating comment. Not upsetting, but intriguing. Her comment was based on what she knows of me from social media.
I wonder if we are conditioned to notice and judge certain types of content as valid and valuable while unconsciously ignoring/devaluing others. Does this have to do with the fact that my work focuses primarily on supporting women? Yes, even we women unconsciously ignore — and sometimes even reject — work that supports our holistic emotional and physical well-being. It's not a priority, and it's not in the budget. I wonder if rejecting or ignoring work that supports women is deeply rooted in unconscious misogyny. These patterns of devaluing that which supports women’s holistic well-being are older than 250 years, and it's looking like, at this rate, misogyny is a system that may outlive our democracy. Misogyny plays out in the outside world, but it is also internalized. For example, I realized through this woman’s comment that I wasn’t sticking up for myself enough, because there were still parts of me that doubted the value of my life and my work, since men and society don’t usually value either.
On a personal level, I am still healing, and the child being abused and emotionally neglected is my priority above all else, which means tending to that child within me and then eventually to the systems that allowed her to be hurt. The systems we participate in and our daily patterns of behaving enable unsafe environments, especially for women, children, and other marginalized populations. Individuals making bad decisions are part of it, too, but focusing on others doesn’t get us very far in our healing.
I do support the work of "forming a more perfect union", but it is primarily and simultaneously an inside job. Perhaps this is why the women drumming at the protest resonated so much more deeply than men talking about preserving a 250-year-old system, which has enabled misogyny, the disappearance of indigenous women, rampant sexual abuse, genocide, domestic violence, and racism. Where is the call to awaken and heal at these rallies???? So many of us are living this process- feeling the tremors of what no longer serves. Why isn't this awakening and healing process front and center ???? In time, it will be. That is my prediction.
“Democrat" and "liberal" are not some type of blanket immunity from the healing work and accountability for unconscious participation in harmful patterns. We need to hold ourselves accountable and heal our nervous systems. Being “stressed” out, silent, and living in constant fear isn’t natural or normal. Self-awareness and grounded bodies will get us so much further than judging others. Unconsciousness is the oppressor that we can all unite against.
Is avoiding the deeper-rooted systemic societal problems part and parcel of avoiding inner systemic issues, often limbic ones? We see this work as useless because deep down, we may feel that way. I used to unconsciously believe I was worthless, besides the value given to me by an ill society. I see through that now. At least I’m starting to.
Most institutions (medical, familial, governmental, educational) could give two shits if I heal or not. Unless I come up with an argument about how my healing benefits the established system or the budget, I'm like a pesky flea. I could make that budget argument based on very real current situations in our local public schools, but I'm not playing that game. I'm called to focus on changing my own beliefs and behavior—waking up and healing, removing myself from harmful people and environments where I am not treated well or valued, and trying my best to create something new and different. I suspect you are called to do the same, even if the calling gets obscured from time to time.
The comment suggesting I was neutral on political issues was based on my social media involvement. Most of the time, I consciously choose how I use social media, focusing primarily on supporting and uplifting my own work and that of other locals who offer original content and services.
I invite you to check out the original content and services I offer on my website, join the events I'm involved in, and then let me know if you think I'm neutral about what is happening within me and out in the world. I'm a work in progress; however, you should check out my work before judging.
And no, I'm not self-sacrificing and working tirelessly on behalf of women and children. I'm no saint, and I'm far from fully healed or conscious. I can't even feel my heart (yet). I CAN feel the unconsciousness in my mind-body system like an iceberg, ever so slowly melting month after month.
So, I offer what I am inspired to provide at a sustainable pace, within my means, and in a way that allows my mind and body plenty of rest.
If there is one thing I'm not, it's neutral.
Looking forward to seeing you soon.